Day 7: June 27, 2021
Day 7: 34 minutes, 3966 steps, 1.7 miles.
Dear @jstallz @intrinsicpaths
Today I waited until the sun came out to walk. I spent the wee hours of the morning on the floor of my living room, deep breathing, meditating, praying, stretching, zoning out, and reaching out from time to time to touch my cat, who has been glued to my side these days. Tried to give my grief from the night a little time and space to dissipate some before opening my eyes fully to begin another day. It was almost 7 am before I felt ready to pull on some jeans, tie my shoes, put on my glasses and hearing aids, open the front door.
Maybe it was the lack of enough sleep, but there was mostly nothing specific on my mind as I walked today. Just a jumble of thoughts- why does my left ankle hurt? Where did that car come from? The sun feels good on my sore neck… Should I blend my own smoothie this morning or go buy one? The day he died, my dad had a huge burst of energy when I dropped by to bring my parents their New Year’s calendars as I had done for years. That morning, he looked at me with bright, shiny eyes, an excited smile on his face, and shuffled by with a sense of urgency, carrying the tubing from his oxygen tank like a cowboy’s lasso. I remembered thinking, “Whoa! I’ve never seen dad look so…effervescent.” I just remember spontaneously smiling back at him, full of wonder. What was that? What did dad see? Did he know that that day was the day? Did he see everyone that had gone on before him? Did he see his mother? His father and his brothers? Did he see me?
The weeds and wildflowers have been rejoicing in all the rain we have gotten these past few days. They are almost up to my hip in some places. In the midst of it all, a single bright helianthus silphioides faced the sun, rising above the sea of greens and purples.
~Tinooseus!
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