Ode to Caregivers

ODE TO CAREGIVERS

My mother was a tormented soul

And her life was a really hard one.

Her only respite was her gardens and her children,

At least when we were very little.

She had real limitations that boxed her in tightly:

Front yard, back yard, and sometimes the alley.

If one of us came, too- she could venture further out.

But we were not meant to stay by her side forever.

Yet she was a great caregiver while we were growing up-

She kept the house clean and tirelessly poured herself out for us.

A hot meal waiting at the end of each long day

Pure satisfaction on her face watching us eat up her food.

She sewed our clothes and knitted rugs for the bare floors,

And by the sheer grace of God, she kept us all alive

Despite the demons that dogged her with their whispers

And taunted her no matter which way she turned.

Then it was my turn to be a caregiver.

I was the youngest of three and still there,

So I visited my parents and ran errands for them-

Even the crushing request to pick up the forbidden carton of cigarettes.

Then dad died and my mother was all alone

In the old empty house with hallucinated companions.

Her paranoia grew as quickly as her memory faded,

And she needed more than what we could provide.

Although a bitter burden because it wasn't me she wanted,

A challenge to give care because of her harsh rejections,

I noticed a remarkable change one day-

The mean old woman that I visited had disappeared before my eyes.

The woman I knew who never smiled or laughed with me

Was always giggling with her caregivers- her face soft with peace.

And stranger yet-- she started to have a smile ready for me, too.

And then I saw her-- a precious being worthy of so much love and affection.

She wore her emotions on her face in those days, and she was so beautiful.

Even when she no longer knew who I was, when she was spending most of her time

In that mysterious journey somewhere between earth and heaven,

I was there because I knew who she was- she was and will forever be my mother.

TMD 4/25/24

30-day poems with @beausia

TMD 4/26/24

30 day poems with @beausia